A neurodivergent take on the Glennon Doyle substack situation
When how you show up makes people uncomfortable
As a lot of you have heard, Glennon Doyle was pushed off of Substack—whether this was on purpose or not is to be debated.
She came in—full of energy, all smiles, and realness. And just a few days later, she was gone. I got a newsletter update from her letting her people know that she won’t stay in something that doesn’t feel good. When it starts to feel bad, she’s out.
I admire that she didn’t try to shrink herself. But I’m sad that she felt like she couldn’t stay.
I started following her then-little blog over a decade ago, back in college. I had “We can do hard things” posted up in my classroom when I was a teacher. Glennon has always made me feel like messy is okay—and that is such an incredible message to give someone.
I haven’t really followed her in the last five years (which, ironically, seems like when everyone else has), but I’ve always appreciated her.
The way people reacted to Glennon’s arrival made me, on a personal level, think about how people talk to neurodivergent folks.
I’ve been told to talk less.
I’ve been told to slow down.
I’ve been made to feel like my energy, my joy, is too much.
I’ve been made fun of for being too interested in something.
I’ve been criticized for doing too many things.
I’ve been told my behavior isn’t appropriate for a space.
Basically, I’ve been told to be less me.
To me, it felt like people were asking Glennon to mask who she is. Like she was being shamed for being herself.
Now, I don’t know if Glennon is neurodivergent. But whether she is or isn’t—it’s not okay to tell someone how to exist in a space if they’re not harming anyone. Especially a public space that prides itself on being something different.
Also? None of us know what she was planning to do with the money from her paid subscriptions. And honestly, it’s not really our business. But I will say—she gives a ton of money to causes that matter. And that’s something.
Anyway, that’s all I have to say.
Love,
Elizabeth
I don’t know her but I do know that women often are expected to perform and then give the money away. Even in your write up you mentioned that she gives a ton of money to causes that matter. You know who doesn’t have to qualify making money, asking for money, or keeping money? Men. If this woman had been a white man with a similar following and had done the very same thing - monetized his efforts - the response would have been so wildly different. He wouldn’t have been chastised or made to feel some kind of way for how he showed up. People could be paid subscribers or not and it wouldn’t have been a thing. Women need to stop eating their own and see how this is just another example of the double standard that exists.
As a neurodivergent mum of neurodivergent girls this summed up beautifully the depth of my discomfort with the comments about ‘it’s not that Glennon came here it’s how she came here’, I too have been made to feel too much or not enough or both all my life and I am now guiding my girls through it. Thank you for this ❤️