Neurodivergent love languages and special interests
Understanding how kids connect through niche interests—and how children’s books can support them
Does your child have any special interests?
I know the term “special interest” comes from the neurodivergent community (for good reason), where it describes a deep, often identity-shaping passion. But I’ve found that kids of all neurotypes can have those intensely focused, joyful obsessions—some more than others!
Here are two “special interest” book posts I’ve put together for Instagram. Each features six book collections for six special interests.
Post 1: Rescue Workers, Dinosaurs, Cats, Dogs, Bugs/Insects, Poetry
Post 2: Sports, Space, Vehicles, Gardening, Parks/Playgrounds, Folktales
Fun fact: this second post? I made it right before my youngest was born. I haven’t managed to put another one together since—flatlays are a lot of work, and babies and toddlers are expert-level flatlay destroyers. It’s a struggle!
After I got the first post live, I asked followers what special interests their kids have. Below is part of the response I received (I think I took off topics I already covered):
A few of my special interests growing up: at different points of time, I was extremely into Nancy Drew, collecting autographs, and Disney World.
My older daughter is really into Anya and Elsia. Do those names sound familiar? They might — if you know Frozen’s Anna and Elsa. Anya and Elsia are kid versions of Anna and Elsa (kind of) that originate from a YouTube channel she likes. In the past, she was really into robot vacuums, outlets, air conditioners, and Rapunzel.
My younger daughter loves farm animals at the moment. I’m so curious to see what she latches onto as she grows up. I love really digging into my kids’ interests.
I recently heard of neurodivergent love languages. Two that really resonated with me (and made me think of this post) are info-dumping and pebbling. Info-dumping is what it sounds like — when you share about your special interest with someone you care about. When someone info-dumps about their special interest, it’s a way of showing love and care to someone important to them!
And then there’s this idea I recently learned about, sometimes called “pebbling” — giving small things to someone to show you’ve been thinking of them. I think of it as the little acts of noticing.
For my girls, I’m always keeping an eye out for tiny treasures tied to what their special interests. A cow sticker at a street fair? A picture book featuring two sisters (reminiscent of Anna and Elsa)? YES and YES. These tiny things are my way of saying, “I see you. I know what matters to you.”
What’s your little one into these days? Do they have a super specific or delightfully random special interest? I’d love to hear! Drop it in the comments—I’m collecting ideas for a future post and would be so happy to include yours.
My almost 4 YO is super hooked on Spiderman right now. So much so that her birthday party will be Spidey themed!
My daughter was deeply passionate about ancient Egypt at the age of 4, probably until she was about 8. She was fascinated by all of it, we collected every book on ancient Egypt we could find. We found a summer camp where they made mummies out of Barbie dolls (with made up curses and hieroglyphs and everything - it was awesome! But she showed her neighbor friend the doll mummy, who then had such bad nightmares her mom told me they couldn’t talk about Egypt anymore. But it was never scary for my kiddo, she just wanted to know everything about it.