Things we’re “not supposed” to do as parents… that I do anyway

From skipped bedtime stories to screen time, here’s what actually works in our book-loving home

I’m a very different parent than I thought I would be. I’m a very different parent than I think a lot of my peers are. And I’m a very different parent than I think I’m “supposed” to be. But I’m okay with that. I think I’m still the best parent I can be for my girls.

This post is inspired by

Rachael Shepard-Ohta

’s new post sharing “things we aren’t supposed to do as parents that I do anyway.” As soon as I saw her post, I knew I wanted to do my take on it. Of course, mine has a bit of a bookish-spin. Let’s get to it!

We skip bedtime stories.

I rarely do bedtime stories with my one-year-old—only if she’s extra wired and needs something to help her wind down. My husband normally does them with our almost-five-year-old, but lately we’ve been having to push bedtime later, so they’ve been skipping that part of their routine.

However, they still watch a little bit of a show together (GASP)—and then she listens to something before falling asleep. It’s not the traditional book-before-bed, but it’s still a calm, connected wind-down.

And we have some days where we read nothing at all.

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit this because I’m constantly receiving and sharing new titles and highlighting the importance of reading to your kids daily. But it’s the truth! I’ll often ask my daughter if we can read a book, and she’ll say “later” or “I can’t right now.” She’s very strong-willed and independent—and a big reader—but I really think she’ll only continue to love reading if I don’t push it on her when she’s not interested.

We watch screens.

Gasp again! For my older daughter, screens are actually regulating. I’m not just saying that—it’s true. And my little one, who’s only 15 months, wants to be just like her big sister. She’s always picking up my phone and asking, “baa baa?” for Baa Baa Black Sheep.

I usually say no to the phone and instead we watch a few songs together on the TV. That physical separation from the screen helps immensely. She’s way chiller when it’s time to turn it off than she would be with a phone or tablet.

Sometimes we even let big sister bring her iPad to the table or eat dinner on the couch with it. I don’t expect everyone to understand, but this is sometimes what she needs—and it truly feels like the best choice for her and for everyone. That said, we often play a game, tell stories, or read a book over dinner, too—more often than we watch a screen.

But here’s the bookish connection! We recently discovered the show Max & Ruby on Paramount+. It’s based on the book series by Rosemary Wells. It’s slow-paced and absolutely adorable, just like the books. It’s a great screen time option!

I’ve also been meaning to turn on Carl the Collector on PBS Kids. It’s by children’s book illustrator Zachariah Ohora, and the main character—Carl—is autistic!

I don’t limit the number of books we check out from the library.

And for the longest time, I didn’t even have a designated spot for library books! Which is wild, considering how many books we have in our home library. I recently designated a big crate-style box as the storage spot for library books and bags. Sometimes it gets pretty full!

With the number of books we have checked out, we may occasionally lose one. If we have to pay a late or replacement fee someday, that’s okay. Personally, it’s worth it to allow my daughters to feel the unbridled joy of freely “shopping” for books at the library.

That said, I understand why some families do limit checkouts—to encourage responsibility and independence when caring for community materials. I think we still support those values, just in a different way.

Two large library bags full of books.

We write in our books!

If we have something special to note in a book, we do it! A memory of when we read it, what was happening around us, our favorite parts, etc.

We were recently gifted a cute book with a baby book page in the back. Normally, I’d say, “This isn’t relevant to us—let’s gift it to someone else.” But my daughter was so excited to use it for her doll. So we filled it out! If she ever decides to part with it, someone else can still enjoy the book part. And for now, it’s hers.

We bring dolls and stuffed animals to public places—like the library.

That said, I usually limit it to two—otherwise, they end up all over the place or get lost. The other day, my eldest brought two dolls to the library. She had done this when she was three and wanted to bring them back for another visit, since the library was newly remodeled.

I could have said no. But I figured, what’s the harm? Even if it’s a bit of a drag for me, it brings her so much joy. I even let her bring her doll stroller for one of the two. At one point, she asked to borrow my phone to take pictures of them at the library, and I let her. She wants to make a scrapbook. How cute is that?

I allow interruptions from my daughter.

I don’t get upset when she interrupts me while I’m working. I know her brain is still developing. I want her to know she can always come to me if she needs me.

If she runs down to my office during work time, I’ll give her a hug, talk to her for a few minutes, and let her know I’ll be up shortly. Sometimes she’ll sit next to me and color (I hold onto activity sheets I’m sent in PR boxes specifically for this purpose!) or help me with a task.

She calls herself the “Kid Lit Kid.” It’s adorable.

I apologize when I mess up or get cranky.

I think it’s so important that adults model this for kids. We’re not above them in any way—just humans with bigger shoes (and more coffee). When I raise my voice, snap unfairly, or get overwhelmed and say something I wish I hadn’t, I always try to circle back and say I’m sorry.

I want my girls to know that apologizing isn’t shameful—it’s respectful. It shows that we care enough about someone to acknowledge when we’ve hurt them. And more than anything, I want them to grow up knowing that grown-ups aren’t always right. We’re still learning, too.

We talk through what happened, I name my own feelings and explain why I reacted that way, and I remind them it’s never their fault when I lose my cool. I hope this helps build trust—that they’ll always feel safe being honest with me, even when things get hard.

I’ve found a couple picture books that model this kind of repair really well—let me know if you’re interested and I can share them!

We never finish notebooks, coloring books, or activity books.

I don’t love this about us. I wish we were a “fill every page” kind of family. But there’s something about that fresh notebook or brand-new activity book that’s just irresistible. A clean slate. A new start. Endless potential! And then… five pages in, it’s on the shelf. Forgotten. Replaced.

A partially used one just doesn’t hit the same. And somehow, the idea of going back to a half-done workbook feels less exciting than cracking open something shiny and new. I know this isn’t the most eco-conscious habit, and I don’t throw out the books or anything—they just accumulate on the shelf.

I really wish we weren’t like this, but here we are. Any suggestions?

We make our girls say thank you.

I believe gratitude is incredibly important. I know that for some kids, saying “thank you” may not be possible—for any number of reasons—and I get that. But for my eldest daughter, it is possible (at least right now), so we practice it.

We’ve even talked about how to respond when you receive a gift that’s not your favorite or not something you were hoping for. I’ve taught her to say “Thank you” and follow it with something she does like about it—like the color, the texture, or even just the thought behind it. She can also say, “Thank you, that was really nice of you!”

The book Don’t Ask Cat has helped a lot with this. It models how to be honest without being rude—a skill I think is really worth practicing.

I work around my family throughout the day and even in the evenings.

I don’t have great work-life boundaries, and honestly, this can get tricky. I’m still trying to figure out the division between “work stuff” and “life stuff.” The “problem” is that I’m a full-time parent doing a full-time content creator’s work. The only way that works is if I squeeze work into moments throughout my day.

That might look like unboxing a stack of books together in the morning, jotting down something sweet or insightful one of my girls said that I want to reflect on in a post later, writing a caption during nap time, or recording video clips during playtime with a toy I plan to share content for. I’ll often sneak in one last video edit in those fragile minutes between dinner and bedtime—or post something at the exact required time while bedtime is… not going as planned.

And the other thing is: I create content around children’s books and products. So of course the lines between work and life blur a bit. The packages I receive are the same ones I’d be excited about anyway. Sharing them with my girls isn’t just part of the job—it’s part of the joy.

So yeah… we don’t follow every parenting “rule.” And I’m okay with that.

I think a lot of us are doing things differently than we imagined—whether it’s screens, skipped stories, or half-used activity books. But I also think there’s value in the flexibility. In the realness. In building a family culture that prioritizes connection over perfection.

If you’ve got your own “we do this even though we’re not supposed to” moment, I’d love to hear it. Let’s normalize the messier parts of parenting together.

With love,
Elizabeth